What is Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is truly a biospychosocial approach to wellness. You will experience what you traditionally think of when you hear "therapy"; talk therapy, processing thoughts, feelings, and patterns, and learning new skills. It entails understanding what you learned about love, sex, gender, and relationships from your childhood; working to identify any trauma history; and deeply honoring the history and worldview of your partner(s) in the process.
Sex therapy does not involve the therapist having any kind of sexual contact with the client. This practice is referred to surrogate partnership, or somatic sexuality work, and is not an approach offered by seek&summon. Therapists operate under a very strict code of ethics that prohibits sexual relationships between client and provider.
Some reasons people seek sex therapy that Mary-Margaret treats:
Sex therapy does not involve the therapist having any kind of sexual contact with the client. This practice is referred to surrogate partnership, or somatic sexuality work, and is not an approach offered by seek&summon. Therapists operate under a very strict code of ethics that prohibits sexual relationships between client and provider.
Some reasons people seek sex therapy that Mary-Margaret treats:
- mismatched levels of desire for sex with partner
- individuals and couples who identify as LGBTQ+ / GSRD
- a low sex or "sexless" relationship that causes distress to those in the relationship
- confronting the impacts of cultural, religious, and family messages on our sexuality
- physical pain during sexual activity
- sexual functioning concerns such as inability to orgasm, vaginismus, erectile disorder, and loss of desire due to hormonal change events such as menopause and gender transition
- major life and role shifts that impact our sexuality such as becoming a parent, change in spiritual identity, acquired disability
- sero-discordant couples, and the impact of all STIs on sexual functioning and relationship agreements
- questioning sexual orientation or gender identity, and navigating these changes as a couple
- history of sexual trauma that manifests in sexual dysfunction, shame, and lack of desire
- mixed orientation relationships (i.e. asexual/allosexual; queer/straight; monogamous/non-monogamous; kink/vanilla)
- having a partner with a history of sexual trauma
- navigating sexual desires such as kink and fetish with a partner
How do I know if I'm ready for sex therapy?
The decision to engage in psychotherapy is very personal. You have to decide for yourself that you are ready to commit to deep inner work, trying on new ways of thinking, and making space to integrate therapy into the rest of your daily living. Depending on the study you read, it is estimated that about 10% of change comes from the work done in therapy hour--the other 90% is by putting the work into action the rest of the week.
What is the time commitment?
New clients start with weekly or biweekly appointments. We will discuss during intake what cadence is best for your current treatment needs. Individuals can expect between 1-3 hours of work outside of session each week.
Why? Well, we aren't going to talk ourselves into new ways of being in the world. We have to embody them, try them, and practice them. Sexual health and functioning are embodied processes, and the work of sex therapy is to reunite the common divide people feel between their mind and body. This work outside of session may include touch exercises solo or partnered; new communication scripts and strategies; journaling; taking in information via book, article, or podcast; or developing and executing an evidence-based routine change to support your health like better sleep hygiene or added physical movement.
Why? Well, we aren't going to talk ourselves into new ways of being in the world. We have to embody them, try them, and practice them. Sexual health and functioning are embodied processes, and the work of sex therapy is to reunite the common divide people feel between their mind and body. This work outside of session may include touch exercises solo or partnered; new communication scripts and strategies; journaling; taking in information via book, article, or podcast; or developing and executing an evidence-based routine change to support your health like better sleep hygiene or added physical movement.
What if I don't have that much time right now?
There is no shame in that. Life is challenging, and full of demands. The goal of intensive, systemic therapy is to change the way you live your life. This may not be the right time for sex therapy, and that is okay. It will be waiting for you when you are.
Can't people just come to vent and have someone to talk to?
This kind of supportive care is a great use of your time and resources! Having a neutral third party to bear witness to your life, to provide a new lens on a troubling scenario, or hold a space for you to express yourself is very healing. And, these things typically fall under the umbrella of "counseling" versus intensive therapy. Sex therapy is a systemic approach to emotional, behavioral, and pattern change using active engagement with evidence-based interventions.
How much does therapy cost, without insurance?
Below are the self-pay rates for therapy at seek&summon
Intake session (first session), 60 minutes: $150
Individual therapy session, 55 minutes: $130
Couple (2 people) therapy session, 55 minutes: $140
Relationship therapy with 3+ people session, 90 minutes: $215 (cannot be billed to insurance)
Intake session (first session), 60 minutes: $150
Individual therapy session, 55 minutes: $130
Couple (2 people) therapy session, 55 minutes: $140
Relationship therapy with 3+ people session, 90 minutes: $215 (cannot be billed to insurance)
Does insurance cover sex therapy?
The answer is, frustratingly, "maybe"! In order for health insurance to be billed, your therapist must give you a medical diagnosis, just like when you visit your primary care doctor. Many sexual concerns result in a medical diagnosis, but not all. Couples therapy presents additional challenges to rendering a diagnosis, and may result in you paying out of pocket for your care.
seek&summon is in network with the following insurance companies:
Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield
CareSource Indiana Marketplace
Your coverage will vary depending on the details of your plan. Please call the customer service number to learn about your unique coverage.
If you have an insurance company other than those listed above, you may be able to receive some reimbursement under your out-of-network benefits. seek&summon is happy to assist in facilitating this reimbursement, if available to you, with the necessary paperwork. Please call your carrier to ask about your out-of-network coverage.
seek&summon is in network with the following insurance companies:
Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield
CareSource Indiana Marketplace
Your coverage will vary depending on the details of your plan. Please call the customer service number to learn about your unique coverage.
If you have an insurance company other than those listed above, you may be able to receive some reimbursement under your out-of-network benefits. seek&summon is happy to assist in facilitating this reimbursement, if available to you, with the necessary paperwork. Please call your carrier to ask about your out-of-network coverage.
What Ongoing Training Do Sex Therapists Receive?
I am required by the state to receive continuing education for my licensure renewal every two years. The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists also requires continuing education in my field. I believe life-long learning is the most important part of my work as a therapist. Some of my training listed below may also give you an idea of my areas of specialty and interest.
Formal education:
University of Michigan School of Social Work Sexual Health Certificate Program
Formal education:
University of Michigan School of Social Work Sexual Health Certificate Program
- Certificate in Sex Therapy
- Certificate in Sex Education
- Master of Social Work, with specialization in healthcare
- Bachelor of Arts, Social Justice Studies (minor: Women's and Gender Studies)
- The Power of Touch: Sensate Focus Therapy Intensive with Paula Leech
- Sensate Focus Therapy with Trauma Survivors with Linda Weiner
- Motivational Interviewing with Drs. Moyers, Miller, and Rollnick
- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy training, Parts I and II with Dr. Jamie Marich
- Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) Proficiency Course: Master the Core Components & Skills of ACT Across Diagnoses with Dr. Michael C. May, MA, LCPC
- Acceptance & Commitment Therapy with Eric Comstock, M.A., LMFT, LCAC
- Teletherapy: Start It Up! with University of Michigan School of Social Work
- Gottman Method Level 1 with Dr. Adam Smithey (couple therapy)
- Abortion Companion/Doula training with Chicago Women's Health Center
What does "AASECT-certified" mean?
AASECT is the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. They are the certifying body for our field of practicing sexologists in mental health, education, research, and medical practice. To become certified as a sex therapist (CST), the practitioner must have a master's degree or doctorate degree in a mental health field such as social work or psychology, and be licensed with their state board to practice with patients. In addition to their graduate education, sex therapists must complete another 160+ credit hours of sexual health and sex therapy education through an AASECT-accredited institution. Then, candidates must complete a minimum of 18 months of sex therapy practice with patients while under the supervision of a seasoned certified sex therapist supervisor.
This extensive training ensures that when you work with a certified sex therapist, that you know they are trained to assess, diagnose, and treat a variety of sexual dysfunctions and concerns. Many sexual issues are due to physical health concerns, and we must know to assess for these complex nuances, and know when to refer you to a medical care partner in the community. Certified sex therapists take courses in anatomy, physiology, pharmacology, and other medical areas in order for us to do this assessment and referral work when needed. Sex therapy can take a wrap-around care team approach, working to address all of your needs. When you are interviewing potential sex therapists, ask about their referral network. If they do not have a solid list of providers in urology, OBGYN, endocrinology, and physical therapy, they will not be able to holistically address your concerns. Not all of my clients need another provider on board, but it is crucial that your sex therapist can help in this way if it is necessary. We are also well-versed in a variety of kinks, gender and sexual identities, and will not pathologize the vast range of the normal human experience.
This extensive training ensures that when you work with a certified sex therapist, that you know they are trained to assess, diagnose, and treat a variety of sexual dysfunctions and concerns. Many sexual issues are due to physical health concerns, and we must know to assess for these complex nuances, and know when to refer you to a medical care partner in the community. Certified sex therapists take courses in anatomy, physiology, pharmacology, and other medical areas in order for us to do this assessment and referral work when needed. Sex therapy can take a wrap-around care team approach, working to address all of your needs. When you are interviewing potential sex therapists, ask about their referral network. If they do not have a solid list of providers in urology, OBGYN, endocrinology, and physical therapy, they will not be able to holistically address your concerns. Not all of my clients need another provider on board, but it is crucial that your sex therapist can help in this way if it is necessary. We are also well-versed in a variety of kinks, gender and sexual identities, and will not pathologize the vast range of the normal human experience.
